Lil Uzi Vert looks to leave their mark on 2023 with “Pink Tape.”

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TOP 5

 

5. Aye (Ft. Travis Scott)

Lil Uzi Vert and Travis Scott go stupider than the US Supreme Court in this song.

“Aye” sounds good through some EarPods, but I bet it sounds f**king amazing at clubs with great speakers, strong drinks, and girls that are capable of beating you at arm wrestling. The song’s dramatic, slow-burning, booming beat coupled with Uzi and Travis’s mighty vocals and braggadocios lyrics makes for something that might severely injure the ground you’re standing on and anyone in your elbow space. DJs need to keep 911 on speed dial if they decide to play this joint.

Serious question, guys: Are there better hypemen in the game than Travis Scott and Lil Uzi Vert? When they are rapping like this, I truly believe they can incite a riot or an insurrection.

 

 

4. Flooded The Face

Damn, Uzi really opened this album with fire!

Lil Uzi Vert is still the coolest rapper in the world. Apparently, Uzi is far from gay, too. In “Flooded The Face,” the Philly native uses roaring vocals and feverish flows to confirm that they smash eight chicks a day (Holy s**t), that they only care about money, and that their watch is capable of visiting the Titanic wreck. To summarize, this is one of those kick-ass records in which Uzi talks their s**t early, often, and confidently.

Uzi just wanted to piss homophobic folks off with these first two records (“Flooded The Face” and “Suicide Doors”). At the end of this one, Uzi says “skirts off.” That means y’all can kiss his glittery ass.

 

 

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3. Rehab

Someone send this song to Ja Morant in every single audio form (Including vinyl).

We finally have an anthem dedicated to rehabilitation, y’all! In “Rehab,” Lil Uzi Vert thanks those who helped them overcome drug addiction, their dark thoughts, and messy relationship issues. What I love about the song is how authentic it sounds. Throughout their verses, Uzi legit comes across like someone lucky enough to get help when they needed it the most. Sonically, I like how the chorus feels purposefully shoved down our throats and how raw the raps feel.

Can I be serious for a minute? OK, here I go: I think songs like this are essential. We’ve heard artists talk about their mental health throughout the years, but we haven’t heard many talk about needing help, getting it, and now feeling thankful that they got it. It’s a success story that I think is very beautiful.

 

 

2. All Alone

I wish my money was long enough for my grandson to enjoy (S**t, my money isn’t even long enough for my left-ass cheek to enjoy right now).

“All Alone” is a certified, bonafide, unadulterated hit. While listening to the song, I pictured myself in a club drunkenly singing along to Lil Uzi Vert’s catchy hook and strung-out vocals. Even the beat has one of those colorful vibes that always moves the drunk needle. As for lyrically, Uzi’s words are meant to galvanize the rich-ass people who throw money at problems and spoiled women. You know, sort of how Trump used to do.

 

 

1. Just Wanna Rock

Is “Just Wanna Rock” the most influential hip-hop track of this decade (Remember, we’ve only knocked out three years from this decade)?

Folks say that “Just Wanna Rock” has replaced “Dreams & Nightmares” as Philly’s main anthem; that’s how highly music fans think of the song. I know y’all can give a rat’s ass about how I feel, but let me say this: “Just Wanna Rock” sounds like the ultimate mic check track to me. In it, Lil Uzi Vert makes random noises, plays their own hypeman, and talks about a whole bunch of nothing. Even the Jersey Club beat they do their work over sounds incomplete. Why do people love this cot damn song so much? Is it because it makes your body voluntarily shiver? Is it because it makes kids go crazy at NBA games? Is it because it sounds like Uzi’s is displaying to the world that their lungs are functioning effectively? I don’t get it. Whatever the case may be, I am happy to announce that this song has received an honorary 5/5 from me because of its impact on the world. Congratulations to Uzi and you all that put it on a pedestal.

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SONG BY SONG BREAKDOWN

1. Flooded the Face (4.5/5)

2. Suicide Doors (3.5/5)

3. Aye (Ft. Travis Scott) (4/5)

4. Crush Em (4/5)

5. Amped (2.5/5)

6. x2 (3.5/5)

7. Died and Came Back (3.5/5)

8. Spin Again (3.5/5)

9. That Fiya (4/5)

10. I Gotta (4/5)

11. Endless Fashion (Ft. Nicki Minaj) (3/5)

12. Mama, I’m Sorry (3.5/5)

13. All Alone (4.5/5)

14. Nakamura (3/5)

15. Just Wanna Rock (5/5)

16. Fire Alarm (4/5)

17. CS (3.5/5)

18. Werewolf (Ft. Bring Me The Horizon) (3.5/5)

19. Pluto To Mars (4/5)

20. Patience (Ft. Don Toliver) (4/5)

21. Days Come And Go (4/5)

22. Rehab (4/5)

23. The End (Ft. Babymetal) (3/5)

24. Zoom (Bonus Track) (3.5/5)

25. Of Course (Bonus Track) (4/5)

26. Shardai (2.5/5)

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RGM RATING

(C+)

 

Lil Uzi Vert separated themselves from the pack with this album. Forreal this time.

Recently, Bow Wow (The guy that made legendary records such as “Basketball,” Fresh Azimiz,” and “Marco Polo”) said hip-hop isn’t selling in 2023 because artists are making the same “trash-ass” music. While I don’t disagree with his comments, I do think that there are a few artists in the game that are pushing hip-hop forward; one of those artists are Lil Uzi Vert. In Pink Tape, I respect how much Uzi experiments with different genres, caring less if they sounds out of place. I think hip-hop needs this level of fearlessness.

Let me dive a little deeper into the different styles of music we get on this album. Pink Tape boasts all kinds of beats: Yeat-like beats, metal beats, trap beats, club beats, R&B beats, Jersey Club beats, and more. By being their brash and confident self, Uzi sounds like a natural over every single one of them. Do you know how hard that is to do? Hell, I’ve seen Rich The Kid struggle over regular black people beats for years now. Matter of fact, I’ll go ahead and say that Uzi makes every beat their b*tch (I don’t think I’ve heard a Lil Uzi Vert song in which the beat completely stole the show. At a minimum, there has been a brouhaha between the two).

In Pink Tape, Lil Uzi Vert kept the features at a minimum, which I love. Travis Scott and Nicki Minaj are the only big-name artists on the album. While I can’t stand the song with Nicki, I thought Travis Scott was amazing on “Aye.” If I’m being real, though, I don’t know how many artists could keep up with this underdog/slightly pissed/super energetic version of Uzi, so I’m glad they decided to do many songs solo dolo. Ps. y’all need to stop calling Uzi gay.

I didn’t love this album, but I also didn’t hate it. Lil Uzi Vert entertains in it, hitting us with animated deliveries and lyrics that are just as comical as they are blunt as hell. They also keeps us on our toes by toying with various sounds. Uzi legit thinks they are a rockstar that has no boundaries, but when you’re the number one option, whatever boundaries you try to dismiss might turn off music fans. So, in other words, you might not love a bunch of tracks from this project (Like the super experimental “The End” or the slightly bizarre “Shardai”), but if we want to see hip-hop grow and Uzi continue to move the needle, we are going to have to go with the ebbs and flows they take us on. They being Uzi, of course.

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