Ski Mask The Slump God – Beware The Book Of Eli (Album Review)

Warning: This n***a is crazy! I do not advise you to leave any kids, puppies or even hedgehogs around him…

TOP 5

5. DAPPER DAN

I would love for “Dapper Dan” to be my alarm in the morning.

Despite the song sounding like it was created by Nelson Muntz from the Simpsons, there is something about “Dapper Dan” that draws me in. Is it the addictive hook, or the fact that Ski Mask sounds like he’s going to war with all four of his alter egos that intrigues me? Whatever the case may be, I am a fan of this track! (Don’t worry, I’m checking myself in to urgent care tomorrow morning to see if my brain damage has progressed)

4. RUN

Remember that comment Big Sean made about rappers that rap fast but aren’t saying s**t? This song is the perfect example of that. Ski raps quick as s**t on “Run,” even sounding like the 9th member of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. However, his content is so ridiculous that it ends up sounding like wasted bars. If possible, find a way to ignore every single word he spews to fully enjoy this track.

F**k that, Ski Mask can’t make the Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony’s group… There might be a roster spot for him on Mo Thugs, though. (Remember them? They were the affiliates to Bone Thugs that had that one white rapper that out spit everyone else on that one popular song they had)

3. LOST SOULS

You know what’s better than “Lost Souls?” Found ones! Go find Jesus this Sunday, fellas!

“Lost Souls” features two crazy ass artists in Rich The Kid and Ski Mask The Slump God. Together, they attack this action-packed instrumental with a bunch of ferociousness. In my humbling opinion, Ski Mask sounds both erratic and disturbing on his verse, while Rich The Kid is the one that actually adds sanity to the track using more of a chilled out approach… I repeat, Rich The Kid adds sanity to the track with more of a chilled out approach.

‘Little stupid’ is the greatest ad-lib of all time.

2. COOLEST MONKEY IN THE JUNGLE

Take that H&M! With your racist shirts and skinny jeans that fit so nicely on my body!

Believe it or not, as crazy as this song sounds, I actually f**ks with it hard! I feel like both of our heroes were able to establish their dominance over a jungle inspired instrumental that is wild as s**t. Say what you want, but I think they showed some talent here. If that isn’t enough to make you a fan of it, close your eyes and tell yourself that this song was made by A$AP Ferg and 21 Savage while you listen to it.

You know how they had a black version of ‘The Wizard of The Oz?’ They should have a black version of the jungle book! Rick Ross can play Ballou, and Lil Baby can play Mowgli!

1. GEEKIN’

“Geekin” is Ski Mask The Slump God’s “F**k Love.”

The vibes of this song is everything. Accompanied by a smooth instrumental, both Danny Towers and Ski Mask the Slump God do a bit of harmonizing, dropping a few infectious melodies. I understand, their lyrical content is pretty savage sounding, but if you drown the s**t they are saying out, you will find this track to be one of the few songs on this album that can be universally accepted.

Ski Mask The Slump God’s singing voice isn’t all that bad.

SONG BY SONG BREAKDOWN

1. LOST SOULS (3.9/5)

2. RUN (3.8/5)

3. THROWAWAY (2.2/5)

4. COOLEST MONKEY IN THE JUNGLE (5/5)

5. SUICIDE SEASON (3.5/5)

6. DOIHAVETHESAUSE? (3.9/5)

7. GEEKIN’ (4.8/5)

8. CHILD’S PLAY (2/5)

9. DAPPER DAN (3.7/5)

10. BUKKAKE (2.6/5)

OVERALL RATING

(D)

Ski Mask is a poor man’s XXXTENTACION. He’s a lot less artistic, but just as erratic.

Throughout this album, I questioned Ski Mask’s level of sanity.

I think Ski Mask has his rap mechanics down pat, but his content is simply too outlandish to be taken seriously. Maybe if I eat some shrooms,’ this will all make sense.

The beats on this album are beyond scintillating. They literally sound like they were made while a monkey was hopping all over the studio.

The features on this album (Which is 33% Rich The Kid) will be overshadowed by Ski Mask’s bizarre contributions. But if you actually took the time to notice them, they were pretty decent.

You say ‘artistic,’ but I say ‘disturbed.’ You say ‘complicated,’ but I say ‘erratic.’ See, that is how hard it is to rate music these days. Based off who you talk to, you will hear different viewpoints about Ski Mask’s artistry. Since I’m the one that wrote this s**t, I say what I just heard was a notch above debris (not quite trash, but debris).

BTW, based off of that spotty ass conclusion I just gave, I think Slump God’s erratic ways has rubbed off on me. Dear God, help!