Post Malone – Twelve Carat Toothache (Album Review)

Post Malone takes a bite at obtaining the top spot with “Twelve Carat Toothache.”


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TOP 5

 

5. One Right Now

“One Right Now” is one of those generic tracks with replay value that you’ve probably heard a million times.

“One Right Now” is one of the popest songs that I’ve ever heard in my life. It features an upbeat instrumental that you would hear at a white people bar that sells Jello shots galore, extremely safe melodies, and somewhat cliché lyrics about kicking someone that you no longer trust to the curb. Do I think the song is bad? Not at all. Do I wish that it was a little more dynamic, especially considering that The Weeknd and Post Malone are on it? Yes. Nonetheless, this is one of the most entertaining tracks on Twelve Carat Headache.

 

 

4. Insane

Can you imagine if Post Malone stole your girl with flies swarming around him? I would turn asexual if that happened to me.

“Insane” is a certified club banger. For starters, the sly, booming beat that powers the song would go ham if played through some mighty speakers. As for Posty’s lyrics that aim to put weak-ass married men to shame, I can see them igniting demon time for the bachelors of the world. All in all, White Iverson scores 50 in “Insane.”


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3. Reputation

Starting this album off with a piano-heavy instrumental and passionate Posty vocals almost made me drop to my knees to repent for all of my sins.

“Reputation” is so damn deep. In the song, Post Malone truly bares his soul as he tries to remind us how much fans can drive artists to the ground with their demands. His voice cracks combined with his painfully honest words and see-saw-like emotions will definitely make you fight back tears.

 

 

2. Wrapped Around Your Finger

“Wrapped Around Your Finger” is one of those smooth-ass white people songs that would go hard in a CVS, a chill-ass barbecue, or a flight with no turbulence.

“Wrapped Around Your Finger” reminds me a lot of “Circles.” Both songs possess pleasant, uptempo production, catchy choruses, and sneaky passionate vocal performance. “Circles” is a chart-topping hit, right? Alrighty then.

 

 

1. Lemon Trees

Only someone who has gone through some serious s**t, who fully understands how to make great music, and who lived next to terrible grocery stores can make a song like  “Lemon Trees.”

“Lemon Trees” is a very fascinating listen. It boasts creative/clever lyrics, several different layers, a timeless feel, and a farm-like peacefulness. I can only imagine a non-racist Huckleberry Finn making a track like this.


SONG BY SONG BREAKDOWN

1. Reputation (5/5)

2. Cooped Up (4.5/5)

3. Lemon Tree (5/5)

4. Wrapped Around Your Finger (5/5)

5. I Like You (A Happier Song) (With Doja Cat) (4/5)

6. I Cannot Be (A Sadder Song)(4/5)

7. Insane (4.5/5)

8. Love/Hate Letter To Alcohol (with Fleet Foxes) (4.5/5)

9. Wasted Angels (4.5/5)

10. Euthanasia (4/5)

11. When I Am Alone (4/5)

12. Waiting For A Miracle (4/5)

13. One Right Now (4.5/5)

14. New Recording 12, Jan 3, 2020 (4/5)

*15. Waiting For Never (4/5)

*16. Hateful (4/5)

*indicates the deluxe version

RGM RATING

(B)

 

One thing that we all have as human beings is selective memory. So many people will claim that they always knew that Post Malone was the truth… In other words, that they knew that a dude who made a song called “White Iverson” would turn into one of the best artists on this planet. What I choose to say is this: Post Malone’s growth as a human being, as a singer, and as an entertainer is what allowed him to make a dynamic and powerful album like Twelve Carat Toothache.

I truly mean what I am about to say: I can’t tell you what aspect I like the most about this album. While I am a huge fan of Post Malone’s vocal performances on it, I am also a huge fan of the melodies he blesses us with, the wide variety of instrumentals that he does work over, his vulnerable lyrics, the spotty but superstar-laced guest features, and his overall passion. To me, Twelve Carat Toothache is truly a body of work that will make you cry, laugh, dance, and reminisce. While frolicking through the album, you will find yourself falling in love with songs that weren’t made for you, and bookmarking songs that you have the perfect emotion and setting for. Post Malone does exactly what I think he was put on this earth to do with this album: Introduce listeners to new styles of music through charm, tenderness, openness, and daringness.

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