Danny Brown & JPEGMAFIA – SCARING THE HOES (Album Review)
Through unorthodox measures, Danny Brown & JPEGMAFIA might have made the album of the year thus far.
Danny Brown & JPEGMAFIA f**k our heads up with “SCARING THE HOES.”
Honorable Mention. Jack Harlow Combo Meal
The title alone earned this track a top 5 spot. Here’s the best way to explain this track: Imagine eating at a fancy dinner spot with two drunk rap negroes that are threatening and cussing out everyone at the table. Oh yeah, and every five minutes they are hopping on the table. Oh yeah, and they have beef with us black people because we allowed Jack Harlow to sell us chicken. Oh yeah, and one of them is so drunk that he thinks he’s The Wedding singer. Yes, s**t is a mess. I only allowed Saweetie and Offset to sell me chicken, so they ain’t talking about me…
5. Orange Juice Jones
Holy s**t, a love song (I didn’t see this coming)!
Sort-of… “Orange Juice Jones” is powered by a smooth, baby-making R&B beat. Here’s the kicker like Vinatieri, though: You don’t get lovey-dovey words out of the two rappers; instead, they talk about drinking their asses off, getting money during all seasons, taking so many drugs that they can’t feel their faces, and finessing women. As expected, JPEG and Danny sound cooler than the other side of the pillow while also sounding like dudes that would stab a pillow with an ice pick.
OK, I’m officially done. I can’t believe that these crazy negroes dedicated a track to Vontaze Burfict!
“Burfict” is rap gladiator music. In the song, which is powered by this horn-heavy beat that I can see either Maximus or Andrew Tate walking out to, Danny Brown and JPEGMAFIA use flammable deliveries to challenge their enemies to duels. To quickly sum things up, if “Na Na Na Boo Boo Boo” had a baby with American Gladitor, you would get “Burfict!”
3. Garbage Pale Kids
I spy rebellious kids, hardcore choppiness, and a rockstar in “Garbage Pale Kids.”
“Garbage Pale Kids” features my favorite Danny Brown verse on this album. There’s something about his jerky flow and wacky voice that meshes perfectly with the unruly hip-hop/rock beat. I also f**k with JPEG’s rap verse, which is full of more explosive energy than a ’90s cereal commercial. However, at the end of the day, the guitar solo might be the thing that steals the show here.
2. Steppa Pig
Steppa Pig would make Peppa Pig strip naked. Unfortunately, that would make my young son cry real tears.
S**t, the vibes are everything in “Steppa Pig.” I found myself absolutely drowning in the beat that fuses old-school R&B vibes with these starry, hard-hitting hip-hop vibes. Adding Danny Brown and JPEGMAFIA’s pimpadocios, confrontational, and emancipated verses to the equation is a cheat code.
1. Lean Beef Patty
As expected, JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown start this album off with some wild s**t.
Yes, the beat that you hear in “Lean Beef Patty” can give you a seizure. It combines an “I Need A Girl” sample with action-packed synths, the kind of music you would hear in a skateboarding mixtape, the sounds you hear when you fast-forward a cassette tape, and some ET s**t. The beat is f**king awesome! As for JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown, they come out swinging in the song. Matter of fact, the former starts his verse off by saying “f**k Elon Musk,” while the latter starts his verse off sounding like a serial killer. This song is f**king awesome!
SONG BY SONG BREAKDOWN
1. Lean Beef Patty (4.5/5)
2. Steppa Pig (4.5/5)
3. SCARING THE HOES (3/5)
4. Garbage Pale Kids (4/5)
5. Fentanyl Tester (3.5/5)
6. Burfict! (4/5)
7. Shut Yo Bitch Ass Up/Muddy Waters (4/5)
8. Orange Juice Jones (4/5)
9. Kingdom Hearts Key (Ft. redveil) (4/5)
10. God Loves Me (4/5)
11. Run The Jewels (N/A)
12. Jack Harlow Combo Meal (3.5/5)
13. HOE (Heaven On Earth) (3.5/5)
14. Where Ya Get Your Coke From? (4/5)
What the f**k did I just listen to?
JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown are a condensed version of BROCKHAMPTON.
JPEGMAFIA sounds like an evil Childish Gambino.
Danny Brown sounds like he eats pills and 2% milk for breakfast on a daily basis.
The beats on this album sound like they were made by someone’s broken-ass CHATGPT app.
Danny Brown referenced Jannero Pargo twice.
Why are they so angry?
I understood only 25% of the s**t Danny said on this album.
They got a diss record called “Jack Harlow Combo Meal.”
My digestive system is backed up.
There are more debonair-sounding beats than killer hip-hop beats on this album.
What. The. F**k. Did. I. LISTEN TO!!!! Whatever it is, inject that s**t through my veins! Either these songs went too left field or were just creative enough; I wouldn’t call a single one bad. This is artistry at its highest level. See, this is the reason why you can’t just give an album a grade based on each individual song; this s**t is an epic experience.
Quincy is the creator of Ratings Game Music. He loves writing about music, taking long walks on beaches, and spaghetti that fights him back.