J. Cole – Birthday Blizzard ’26 (Album Review)

J. Cole comes out swinging on “Birthday Blizzard ’26,” setting the tone right before “The Fall Off.”

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TOP 4 TRACKS

4. GOLDEN GOOSE FREESTYLE

I love how J. Cole transitions from the madman energy of “BRONX ZOO FREESTYLE” to a completely subdued vibe over this smooth, lobby-ready instrumental on “GOLDEN GOOSE FREESTYLE.” Throughout the track, he clowns rappers who rely on bots (is this a Drake or Kendrick Lamar diss?) and industry puppets while staking his claim as an untouchable, self-made star who despises fame but still runs the whole damn game. Getting your ass whipped this elegantly has to be demoralizing, man.

3. BRONX ZOO FREESTYLE

The opening track of this album has J. Cole going full villain mode over Diddy’s “Victory” beat (this negro is nuts). He raps like he’s come back from the dead, inspired by the ghost of Biggie and all the doubters, delivering punchlines at a breakneck pace. My favorite? His bars about Luka and Ayton (Actually, based on how Ayton has been playing these days, it might age as poorly as Steve Francis). By the time the track ends, you can hear a grown man literally run out of gas—exhausted from kicking ass nonstop (Damn, so HE IS actually human).

2. WINTER STORM FREESTYLE

J. Cole’s Biggie love is loud and clear, because most of this album leans heavily on classic Biggie production. On “WINTER STORM,” he attacks the icy “Who Shot Ya?” beat with an unbelievable cadence, rapping with surgical efficiency while sounding almost bored, like he’s scrolling his phone while bodying the track. Lyrically, he draws parallels between himself, Ant Edwards, and Michael Jordan (that’s a helluva comparison), calls out rappers who wear fake personalities, and reflects on the road that brought him here. The hunger is palpable.

Anytime Cole brings up Sallie Mae, you already know he’s deep in his bag.

1. 99 BUILD FREESTYLE

Jadakiss is the reason this mixtape didn’t come as much of a surprise. A few days ago, he mentioned that Cole was planning to drop a freestyle over him and The LOX’s lethal “Money, Power & Respect” beat, and let me be clear: what Cole did on it should qualify as a damn murder charge. His flows are relentless, steady as hell, and wildly dynamic, effortlessly switching up like people’s stances on the Second Amendment. Honestly, I’m convinced he blacked out mid-verse and just let pure instinct take the wheel.

Real talk, I almost don’t care what he’s saying because the execution alone is jaw-dropping, but if you’re listening closely, he’s giving JID his flowers, shouting out rappers getting podcast bags, and flexing his pen at almost sacred levels (literally). My God (literally).

SONG BY SONG RATING

1. BRONX ZOO FREESTYLE (4.5/5)

2. GOLDEN GOOSE FREESTYLE (4/5)

3. WINTER STORM FREESTYLE (4.5/5)

4. 99 BUILD FREESTYLE (5/5)

RGM GRADE

(90%)

There are a few ways to read this brief project: 1) The Fall-Off might not be as raw and lyrical as you expect. 2) Cole’s apology has him feeling like the ultimate underdog. 3) Cole really loves Bad Boy’s old beats. 4) Cole is experimenting with a new way to consume music—making people pay directly for it—which I thought was a dope idea. Or maybe it’s all four.

Does it irritate you to hear him talk big, flex on his peers, and come across as a godly rapper after The Apology? A little. But the rapping is so damn good, you have to respect it. It’s like watching an NBA player drop 60 points on a tanking team—yeah, they’re not winning games, but 60 is 60. That’s how this project hits.

The punchlines are next-level, probably requiring the paid version of ChatGPT to unpack, while his flows are unflappable and so precise they make you rethink what you considered great rapping before. The only thing missing? Diddy’s ad-libs (Why the hell are y’all scratching your necks?)…